The Darkness


I feel like I’m having a slow heart attack.

I started having nightmares or maybe just dreams a week before the election. In some, Trump had been elected. Anxiety dreams, I thought. But there were other problems. My stomach churned and twisted. I had what felt like heart palpitations. I kept crying.

My conscious brain totally believed that Hillary Clinton would be elected. I sat down to watch the election unfold and was every bit as shocked as everybody else, though I did feel it from the beginning, as the results started to trickle in. This is not good.

Somewhere between my mind and body, or more specifically, my frontal lobe and amygdala, were a disconnect. I couldn’t consciously think a thought as horrible as the idea that a fascist reality show host was going to become the next president-elect of the United States of America. But whispers of Brexit danced through my dreams.

Now the world has gone insane. Muslim women are having their hijabs yanked off by taunting Trump supporters and tacky muscle cars adorned with “Make America Great Again” stickers are being torched.  Junior academics who were not ready for the complexities of intersectionality are blaming all white people and white people are claiming this nation as their homeland. Steve Bannon has been named as the White House chief of staff.

Babylon is burning. The Tower is in flames on the ground and people are screaming real screams. There is nothing amusing or normal about this. The only thing I can hold on to is that darkness is cleansing. I can only pray that no more people get hurt and that someone stops that maniac before he ascends to the highest position in the country. Maybe then we can start learning our lesson.

This is my new self-care routine so that I have the wherewithal to get through this grief and do whatever my part is in helping fight the future.

Daily Self-Care Ritual

Candle: Blue votive

Essential Oil:

Rose absolute – 7 drops
Frankincense – 3 drops
Rosemary – 1 drops

Amber, rose quartz, smoky quartz, obsidian, black tourmaline, lapis lazuli, emerald in matrix, amethyst (all of these are really good but try to include rose quartz, amethyst and smoky quartz or obsidian)

Incense: Copal

Fresh water, lavender herbal water or rosewater
Dried herbs – rosemary, lavender, angelica root (other herbs of cleansing and healing emotionally)

Suggestion for ritual script

Light the candle and the incense. Pour the water into your cup and inhale. Pick your stones and arrange them on your altar. Take five minutes to breathe and clear your ind in no-thought meditation. Every thought that arises, let it fall away without judgment and without following it to the next train stop.

  • Do some gratitude meditations. Start with the easiest thing you have to be grateful for and move out from there.
  • Set an intention for the day. I like to align this with a goal to do something to try to fight– call senators, write to politicians do one thing that I can do in the service of the political process.
  • Close out ritual



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